Accusing God: Admitting the Unspoken Struggles of Faith
Leviticus 12-13; Matthew 25; Psalm 121
The trouble with accusation is that it doesn’t reveal what we think it does. It doesn’t reveal the other; it doesn’t indict the other; it exposes our own heart. Our accusations expose us.
A.W. Tozer said, “What you think about God is the most important thing about you.”
And I believe it.
I’m not saying this as one throwing stones; I’m saying this because I’m well acquainted with the accusations of my own heart. I’m guilty! I’m not proud to admit that I’ve gone through more than a few difficult seasons and called into question the goodness of God.
I know we’re not supposed to admit these kinds of things. But I struggled. I kicked and fought and wrestled against all that seemed unfair. I railed and cried and complained when I felt I wasn’t treated well.
Like I said, I’m not proud of myself.
But I want to be honest. I want to confess and get free. And if I can, maybe help you come clean and get delivered too.
We all have darkness. We all have accusations.
When life is great, we don’t question that it is. After all, on some level, we feel we deserve the peace, the prosperity, and the favor. We’ve earned it. But when times are hard, when difficulties come, there is something that rises up in us.
And that something is accusation. This goes beyond “why me?” This goes all the way back to the Fall. When we think about it, all sin starts with accusation.
Jesus told this story:
Matthew 25:24 “He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed,’
In essence, the accusation is that the master takes what he hasn’t earned and harvests what he hasn’t planted.
“You’re unfair. You’re a thief. You’re corrupt.”
I mean, that’s quite an indictment. And what follows is the excuse.
Matthew 25:25 “So I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.”
Basically, the accusation is being used as the justification to disobey. The accusation is the cover!
Tricky. Tricky!
Before we wag our fingers and shake our heads at the servant in the story, let’s take a moment and assess our own life.
Why do I let myself off the hook? Why do I allow myself to get away with purposed disobedience or disregard to the Word of the Lord?
Well, because I have my own accusations, of course. Maybe you do too. Maybe the story Jesus told is for us.
Why am I being this candid?
Because confession sets us free!
James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
And I want to be free.
I know the Holy Spirit hovers over the deep places of my heart. And I’m asking the Lord to speak over the darkness still present in my life, saying, “Let there be light!”
And I know what happened in Genesis, in the beginning, will happen again in me, and in you too if you’re asking. And when He speaks, there will be light!
Let’s get back to the story:
Matthew 25:26 “But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed?’
The truth is that the servant was wicked. The truth is that the servant was lazy. He didn’t want to obey, and the accusation became the cover he needed to remain in his sin.
‘You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed?’
The very thing the wicked servant accused his master of was, in fact, the very thing he was himself.
The accusation revealed his own wicked heart, not the heart of the master at all.
Scary, right?
I want to be steady. The next time I go through a valley, and there will be a next time, I want my testimony to be in the goodness of God. The next time I’m in the press, I want what comes out to be praise and thankfulness.
I want to be a good servant, a good friend, to the Lord. I want to be loyal to His heart. I don’t want to accuse Him. I want to agree with His leadership in my life, even in seasons where I don’t understand. Even in the hard. I want to remember that His goal in my life is this one thing: That Christ would be formed in me (Galatians 4:19).
Anyway.
I’m sick of the cycle. Sick of the ups and downs of my own faith. I’m trying something new. Call it: “exposure therapy.” May it do a good work in my heart. May it do a good work in yours too.
Deepening Faith: Reflective Journal Prompts
- Reflect on a time when you faced a significant challenge or hardship in your faith journey. How did you feel during this period, and what accusations, if any, did you find yourself making (either against yourself, others, or God)? How did you move past these accusations, and what lessons did you learn about faith and trust?
- Consider A.W. Tozer’s statement, “What you think about God is the most important thing about you.” How does this resonate with your current understanding of God? Write about how your perception of God has evolved over time and how it influences your daily life and decisions.
- Recall a moment when you felt unfairly treated or misunderstood. How did you respond internally and externally? Reflect on the impact of this experience on your faith. Did it bring you closer to or further from a sense of spiritual peace and understanding?
- Think about the concept of confession and its role in spiritual freedom, as mentioned in James 5:16. Journal about a time when confessing a mistake, fear, or doubt led to a sense of liberation or healing. How does the act of confession strengthen your faith and relationships with others?
- Meditate on the idea that challenges and ‘valleys’ in life can strengthen faith. Write about a ‘valley’ you are currently navigating or have recently traversed. How do you see this experience shaping your character and faith? In what ways are you aiming to praise and show gratitude, even in difficult times?
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