Numbers 2-3; Mark 13; Job 13
Have you ever been so lost in your salvation that even the light became dark to you? It’s not something we often hear shared on Sunday mornings, and I, for one, can understand why. Darkness in the light isn’t a celebratory concept. Yet, in my real life, outside the program of church, in private conversations where we share our real lives and struggles, I know most of us have gone through very dark seasons even as we walk out our salvation with “fear and trembling.”
Some have referred to this season as the “dark night of the soul.” I’ve walked many a dear friend through painful seasons of loss—loss of a loved husband or wife, loss of a child, loss of a business, loss of all sense of purpose. Hard seasons where we wrestle with a sense of abandonment and confront all of our doubts. Seasons where our theology is so tested, and all our decrees and prayers seem to fall to the ground.
As we read through the book of Job, I am reminded of so many conversations over the years. I’m reminded of my own seasons of despair.
I can remember one conversation several years ago with my mom that was so desperate. I was prostrate with a back injury for several years and in such tremendous pain, living on narcotics to survive. I was isolated and terrified. All of my life was gone. I felt like I had crossed over into death and yet somehow was still breathing. It was a dark time. And I remember my mom came to visit me, and the words coming out of my mouth were filled with despair and pain, accusations toward God, misunderstanding. I’ve been there.
There’s something amazing about the fact that the book of Job got included in our canon. Scholars believe the book of Job is the oldest recorded book in the Bible. The human experience is marked with incredible joy and also incredible loss. And our God doesn’t shrink back from us as we go through trouble.
Job 13:15
Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him;
yet I will argue my ways to his face.
This passage reminds me of Peter’s proclamation when many stopped following Jesus because of their offense.
John 6:
67 So Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?”
68 Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life,
69 and we have believed and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.”
Where else can we go?
Maybe you are in a hard season. You have lost your way. First of all, let me say this: you are not the author of your salvation. You are not the source of light. Wherever you are, trust this—the Lord knows where you are, and more than that, He is there with you.
Listen to this:
Psalm 139:11-12
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
The Lord has not left you. He doesn’t do abandonment. He’s close. He’s within you. Just ask Him.
The story of our God is this: He always turns death into life. It’s who He is. He’s inside of you. Ask Him.
Deepening Faith: Reflective Journal Prompt
Reflect on a time when you felt overwhelmed by darkness or despair in your spiritual journey. How did this challenge your perceptions of God? Write about how this experience tested your faith, and consider how passages like Job 13:15 and Psalm 139:11-12 can provide guidance and comfort during such times. What new understanding or reaffirmation of God’s presence did you gain from this experience?
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